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Aziz Ansari Quotes

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Here is a collection of some of the best quotes by Aziz Ansari on the internet.

Aziz Ansari Quotes

About Aziz Ansari

Aziz Ismail Ansari (born February 23, 1983) is an American actor, comedian, and filmmaker.


Famous Aziz Ansari quotes

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1

Every single person, pretty much, is taught what they’re supposed to do: go to school, get a job, find someone to love, get married, have kids, raise the kids, and then die. Nobody questions that. What if you want to do something different? Aziz Ansari


2

Even in my stand-up, there’s a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes. Aziz Ansari


3

I’m kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. Aziz Ansari


4

Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best. Aziz Ansari


5

Acting is a plum gig, and then animation is an even more plum gig. Aziz Ansari


6

You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don’t have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It’s the hardest thing. Aziz Ansari


7

When I tour, it’s like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour. I try to eat at all the weird places, the obscure barbecue joints, burger places. There are a few spots in L.A. that I’m obsessed with – one of them is the Taco Zone taco truck on Alvarado. There are secret off-menu items that are amazing. Aziz Ansari


8

Why would anyone get married and have babies? That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Aziz Ansari


9

For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid. Aziz Ansari


10

After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it’ll flop. And that’s when I really take a hard look at myself and say: ‘Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it’s talking about.’ Aziz Ansari


11

I don’t think you can describe your ideal girl. A big part of that is just meeting someone and really clicking with them and wanting to hang out with them all of the time. Aziz Ansari


12

Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you. Aziz Ansari


13

I weirdly do consider myself an optimist about love. Aziz Ansari


14

I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn’t, but I thought: ‘What the hell?’ So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it. Aziz Ansari


15

Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever. Aziz Ansari


16

It’s the hardest thing to come up with an hour of material that can consistently keep people laughing. Aziz Ansari


17

I’m always down to try a new burger, but Shake Shack is still my top. What makes them so special is for the bread they use Martin’s potato rolls which is just the best hamburger buns ever. Aziz Ansari


18

It’s hard to really get that excited about movies. Think about it like this: how many good comedy movies come out a year? Maybe one or two? And then, in those movies, what are the chances that there’s a character that I’m the best fit to play? It’s really small! Aziz Ansari


19

With stand-up, I can have an idea, go down the street to a comedy club and work on it, flesh it out, book a venue, people will come, then film it. I do all that myself; I never have to answer to anybody. Aziz Ansari


20

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That’s what we’re shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true. Aziz Ansari


21

A lot of people my age think stand up sucks. Aziz Ansari


22

Every time I’ve done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there’s always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they’re just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that. Aziz Ansari


23

I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun. Aziz Ansari


24

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it’s Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack. Aziz Ansari


25

Like with ‘Parks and Recreation,’ it’s so much fun because the people writing it are funny and they’re open and you just go in there and have a good time. It’s pretty much the easiest job I’ve ever had. Aziz Ansari


26

After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times, and then one night it’ll flop. Aziz Ansari


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